Talk:Watch Out Now/@comment-3575890-20150226061053
I hope to god this doesn't sound insensitive, but as of these last few years, I truly feel that I am mentally unwell. My memory keeps deteriorating to the point of which I can't remember a thought that passed into my mind not even a second prior. My short-term memory has never been incredibly impressive, but now it's just abysmally bad. I leave things lying around and then don't remember putting them there. I sometimes have to think really long and hard about if I carried out a task I was supposed to do that day because I can't remember. This alone has affected my communication skills on so many levels. I cannot talk the way I used to. Words used to come so easily to me. They used to flow so effortlessly. Now words I used to use in my every day vernacular often slip my mind and I have to think long and hard before I can remember them. I now feel that I have to put so much mental focus towards just constructing intelligible sentences. I even struggle with this, to a degree, on paper now. The words don't come as quickly and easily as they used to, and I often have to pause to regain my train of thought or try to extract a word from the deepest recesses of my subconscience that I just can't for the life of me, in that point in time, seem to place. In general, I have such a hard time focusing on anything now. Maintaining concentration in even just a simple one on one conversation with somebody is often difficult. Because of this, I lose my train of thought so easily now, which results in me having to pause often to remember what I was meaning to say. It is so frustrating and I feel that I look so stupid to the other person when this happens. I feel like I am already going senile at the delicate age of only 24. I'm not as sharp or quick-witted as I used to be. And then on the emotional spectrum of things, I can't even make sense of what I am feeling half the time. My moods are so up and down and so inconsistent. Literally, half an hour ago, I went from perfectly fine to the slightest of triggers causing me to burst into tears followed thereafter by a feeling of such unfathomable sadness. I don't even know where it came from, but it resurfaced some seriously deep-seated emotions. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I feel like I can never not be unhappy. I have no motivation to do anything. So many days I just want to sleep and sleep until I miraculously don't feel like this anymore. Whatever "this" even is. I am especially concerned as to how this will affect my general livelihood and future opportunities for myself, the worse this gets. Given that nothing seems to help, I have come to the conclusion that this is chemical rather than conditional and I am at a loss as to what I can do about it. I am overwhelmed by my options, or rather what feels like, lack thereof because I feel deep in my heart of hearts that I am not well and need help, but I also feel that I have such little control over what I can do to rectify this. I don't even know where I'm supposed to begin to enlist help. I know I need to do something, and maybe this is just the mental fog talking right now, but I just don't know what the starting point is and how to set any viable options in motion. I just feel so, so fatigued and like I'm not all here.